If you’re still trying to figure out if you want a simpler affair while gently breaking the news to loved ones, read on to hear from five couples about how they came to the decision to elope, their advice on handling the details, and how the news was received by loved ones.
RaeAnn Brixius & Nicholas Fahnrich
Eloped to Cole Mountain, Virginia
The Decision to Elope
From RaeAnn: “It was a number of reasons. We initially liked the idea of a hiking elopement because we live for the outdoors, the mountains, and hiking. We couldn’t think of a better space to celebrate us and to make vows to each other. Also, my brother was having a big wedding and it was perfect for him and my sister-in-law but the stress that every bride I knew was under—ugh. I did not want that. We also didn’t want to spend money on a wedding that wasn’t really going to be for us; it would have been for our friends and family. We wanted to be focused on us and our love and what we were committing to, and we wanted that to be free of stress or worry.
“For us, that meant being in a place we loved. Nick and I both also have a hard time being emotional in front of others, or I guess it would be better to say that it makes us uncomfortable. For me, my worst nightmare was to empty the depths of my love for Nick and everything I would promise to him in front of our 150+ family members plus friends. To me, expression of that love and the promises I would make were for Nick alone.”
Advice to Couples Who are Considering Eloping
“Whether you have others involved is a really personal decision that you and your significant other should make together. Don’t let others try to tell you what to do—this is your day to celebrate your love for each other and devote your lives to each other. Remember, there are ways to keep family involved—it can be a photobook, calling or FaceTiming after, or having them afterward for a dinner. Whatever you decide, just make sure that it is the best decision for you and your fiancé. Choose your dream elopement and let everything else work itself out. I promise it will!”
Tip
“So the weather was awful for us. It had stormed the entire day before, and even that morning when we left, it was raining really hard still. We decided to just go with it and went on our way. The rain stopped shortly before we started and the sun came out for a little bit. It was really foggy so you couldn’t see the mountain views we had hoped for, but we loved how the fog turned out in the pictures. In sum, no matter what setbacks you’re facing, just go with it.”
Acacia & Evan Rowland
Eloped to Big Sur, California
The Decision to Elope
From Acacia: “I was just about to sign contracts with vendors when I started to think it was all too much. I asked Evan if we could just call it quits on planning and figure something else out. ‘What about going back to California [where they got engaged]?’ Then Evan looked at the Post Ranch Inn website and it was all there for the taking. The elopement package was perfection!”
Advice to Couples Who are Considering Eloping
“Just do it. No one will care. All of the parents loved the idea of us doing what would make us most happy. They completely understood and supported our decision.”
Tip
“Make it your own. Personalize it. Do what is special to you.”
Amber & Bryan Ford
Eloped to Lake Placid, New York
The Decision to Elope
From Bryan: “Amber initially introduced the concept of doing an intimate ceremony. I was on board almost immediately. We’d been together long enough, and neither of us wanted a long, drawn-out engagement. Initially, there was the convenience factor of not having to arrange a grand ceremony for hundreds of people in such a small window of time. More important to us, we’ve always tried to march to the beat of our own drum. This just felt comfortable to us—more personalized, more our style.”
Advice to Couples Who are Considering Eloping
“We’re not going to talk anyone into eloping or having an intimate wedding. If it’s for you, you already know it’s for you. For us, we knew we didn’t want to spend this special once-in-a-lifetime moment surrounded by the pressures of entertaining a massive group of people (some of whom we may have only met once before or never at all). We wanted to feel comfortable, celebrating our new life together exactly as we wanted, with close family who we knew would feel the same.”
Tip
“Everything costs 30 percent more when you say the word ‘wedding.’”
Caroline Anderson & Martin Salvi
Surprise Ceremony in Washington, DC
The Decision
From Caroline: “In true Virgo fashion, neither of us likes being the center of attention. We did want to celebrate our engagement with our friends and family, so we planned on having an engagement party with about 100 guests and planned to get married with just our immediate families sometime later. As we started planning the engagement party, we had an idea: Why not surprise everyone by getting married on the spot? The more we thought about it, the more fun it sounded. We’d still get to have our fun party but would eliminate all the pre-wedding stress, and could pick and choose the traditions that felt right for us without the obligations or fuss of a more typical wedding. We had already picked a date for the engagement party, so we switched gears about three months before the big day and started planning a ceremony.”
Advice to Couples Who are Considering Eloping
“Definitely don’t feel like you need to follow all the rules when you plan your wedding. Whether you do a traditional wedding, elope, or a have surprise ceremony, just make sure you make it’s your own. The surprise wedding was NOT as easy as it sounds! We still had to do all the parts of a full wedding and hire all the same types of vendors, plus making all the decisions about customizing it like writing our own ceremony, deciding how to execute the surprise, etc. In the end, it was totally worth it—it was so much fun and so perfectly ‘us.’ Plus, we have a great story to tell.”
Tip
“If you’re going to surprise your family, make sure you think about what will be important to them and try to create a way for them to help you so they can be involved.”
Erin & Jeff Cannata
Eloped to Positano, Italy
The Decision
From Erin: “We had originally planned a 120-person wedding in Santa Barbara. We had just gone up to plan the menu at the restaurant. We’d gotten home, were eating cake, and I was just about to purchase our save-the-dates. I said to Jeff, ‘I don’t really want to do this.’ He thought I meant getting married in general. Whoops. He loved the idea of eloping. We were planning to honeymoon in Italy so it seemed like a perfect place to get married as well.”
Advice to Couples Who are Considering Eloping
“Do it! Best decision we ever made. We truly enjoyed the day and didn’t have the stress that I know many friends and siblings have expressed feeling on their wedding day. It didn’t go by in a blur, and we were able to enjoy each other’s company and be present with one another.”
Tip
“Reach out to the hotel you’re staying at if you’re eloping to another country. They can be a wealth of knowledge when it comes to finding a florist; communicating if you don’t speak the language; or taking your dress to be steamed.”
